Story of the Day
just marriage. It's an adventure"
Since our wedding day, I have changed in many ways, which can be traced directly back to my wife's influence, such as:
- I now squeegee the shower doors after a shower. Of course, it takes a little longer than that to explain to my guy friends why I do.
- I don't sleep on the pillow shams. Before marriage, I didn't know what a pillow sham was. Now, I do. And, I'm better off for it.
- I no longer fold the towels in half. My wife taught me to do it in thirds to take up less space in the linen closet. Thanks, honey.
- I used to invite guys over to watch a football game, not thinking about refreshments. Now, we clean the house and make asparagus rolls beforehand. And, I always thought a new bag of Doritos was extravagant.
- Before marriage, I used simple color descriptions for clothes, like beige and red. Now, I call them marooned sand pebble and crimson autumn apple.
- I now know where the heavy whipping creme is in the grocery store. Enough said.
- I'd much rather drive our minivan than a 2002 Metallic Blue Porsche 911 Turbo. Send help.
- I know where to buy a loofah.
- I know that the only similarity between diamonds and diamonique is the first six letters.
- I know that the guest towels are never used, not even by guests. Go figure.
- Because my wife likes to dance, I now know that a grand jete isn't something you get at Starbucks.
- Finally, before marriage, I didn't know how to wrap gifts, make a grilled cheese sandwich, or iron. Now, I do. Kind of.
So, in looking back, marriage has been a wondrous, magical boot camp. And, now I'm a lean, mean domestic machine.
As I said before, send help. Fast.