"It's not just marriage. It's an adventure"

Since our wedding day, I have changed in many ways, which can be traced directly back to my wife's influence, such as:

- I now squeegee the shower doors after a shower.  Of course, it takes a little longer than that to explain to my guy friends why I do.

- I don't sleep on the pillow shams.  Before marriage, I didn't know what a pillow sham was.  Now, I do.  And, I'm better off for it.

- I no longer fold the towels in half.  My wife taught me to do it in thirds to take up less space in the linen closet.  Thanks, honey.

- I used to invite guys over to watch a football game, not thinking about refreshments.  Now, we clean the house and make asparagus rolls beforehand.  And, I always thought a new bag of Doritos was extravagant.

- Before marriage, I used simple color descriptions for clothes, like beige and red.  Now, I call them marooned sand pebble and crimson autumn apple.

- I now know where the heavy whipping creme is in the grocery store.  Enough said.

- I'd much rather drive our minivan than a 2002 Metallic Blue Porsche 911 Turbo.  Send help.

- I know where to buy a loofah.

- I know that the only similarity between diamonds and diamonique is the first six letters.

- I know that the guest towels are never used, not even by guests.  Go figure.

- Because my wife likes to dance, I now know that a grand jete isn't something you get at Starbucks.

- Finally, before marriage, I didn't know how to wrap gifts, make a grilled cheese sandwich, or iron.  Now, I do.  Kind of.

So, in looking back, marriage has been a wondrous, magical boot camp. And, now I'm a lean, mean domestic machine.

As I said before, send help.  Fast.